Don’t Miss Out On Life Trying to Live Longer

Many people miss out on life by working too hard. Sometimes, they are trying to make more money, and sometimes they simply don’t know how to live otherwise. They work 60 hours a week, and work until they are too old to enjoy the things they should have done when they were younger. They miss the great experiences they could have had with their loved ones. Doctors are especially prone to this error, and I know many physicians who are still working into their seventies. Hard work is important and necessary, but too much can make you miss out on life. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, in his book One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, wrote, “Work is what horses die of. Everybody should know that.”

There are other ways we can miss out on life, and I am at risk of one of them. I am a retired physician and spent more than thirty years working to improve people’s health and prolong their lives. I am also obsessive, maybe not reaching the level of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but obsessive enough. At times, I have been lax about my health, gaining and losing hundreds of pounds, 25 pounds at a time. I have often gone months or even years without any regular exercise. Now, I am the opposite. I eat very healthily and work out nearly every day. On vacations, my wife and I (and our son when he joins us) stay active. We hike, bike, or go to a gym. I do these things to live longer, but when I am too strict, I miss out on life.

Eating right and exercising can help you live longer. See The Six Rules for a Longer, Healthier Life. It makes sense to be active and eat healthy foods, but taken to an extreme, you can miss out on life. On vacation, I’ve gone to the gym instead of going to breakfast with my wife, son, and his girlfriend. I’ve chosen to eat the healthiest dinner possible at home and missed out on a dinner at a nice restaurant with friends. I have declined invitations and wonder now if it was sometimes because I didn’t want to eat unhealthy food at someone’s home or at a restaurant. I am certain I could have had a better balance between health and my enjoyment of life.

The only things that truly matter in a person’s life are their experiences. See the superb book, Die with Zero, if you want to know how to experience life in your later years. Hopefully, you have loved ones to share in these experiences. I look back with pleasure on vacations with my family as a kid and as an adult. I don’t care what type of car I owned, how fancy my house was, or whether my cholesterol was high in the summer of 2012, when I was watching our son and nephew sled on Sperry Glacier on garbage bags. If you focus on the things you can buy rather than the experiences you can have, you will miss out on life. You can also miss out on life by worrying too much about health and safety. A longer life is good, but only if it is filled with meaningful experiences.

I still intend to eat healthy and exercise to feel better and to live longer, but I am working to avoid focusing too much on diet and exercise. Because I am so addicted to bad carbs, I will still avoid them. See my book, The Three Rules to Lose Weight and Keep It Off Forever. I am not as strict as I used to be with foods that can increase the risk of heart disease and cancer, such as processed or red meat. Tonight, my wife and I are having steak, and last month, our son and his girlfriend made me the most decadent burger I’ve ever eaten. The “buns” were crisped cheese, and there was another ton and a half of cheese on the burger. If I had eaten a can of tuna while everyone else had burgers, I would have missed out on life.

Following every exercise and dietary recommendation in order to live longer makes sense, but taken to the extreme, what are you living for? Recently, my wife and I met our wonderful friend Suzanne for breakfast. I have known her since I was about two, longer than anyone else outside the family. We ate at the superb RH in Montecito, near where she lives. I knew ahead of time that there was nothing on the menu that was within the Three Rules except an egg dish. (Eggs dramatically raise my cholesterol.) We went to RH and had a wonderful time. Had I not gone or had I ordered nothing, it would have cost me, or at least diminished, an experience I will never forget. It seems crazy to some people that I even considered not eating the eggs, but think of how many people stopped seeing loved ones to avoid the risk of getting Covid. Government shutdowns cost children a year of school, leading to increased mental illness and inadequate education. Shutdowns also increased loneliness and depression in older adults.

Who can blame anyone who wants to live longer? I hope that I live as long as my mind is sharp, but we can’t be so fearful of dying that we miss out on life. There is a balance. You can eat healthy most of the time, exercise regularly, and maintain a normal weight without sacrificing meaningful experiences. You can lower your risk of getting an infection, and still see your loved ones. During outbreaks of infection, we can keep schools open and minimize the risks to teachers and children.

Work hard, be healthy, and don’t miss out on life.