The Secret to Willpower

Until about eight years ago, I struggled with my weight. If you’ve known me for years, you remember how many times I gained and lost weight. My relatives, and sometimes my friends, made fun of me because once I started eating something, say M and M’s, I couldn’t stop. Simply put, I couldn’t control myself once I started. Many people are like me with junk food. I also had trouble controlling myself with alcohol. Fortunately, I knew myself well enough to never try drugs. Now, I never drink any alcohol, and I never eat what I call bad carbs. I wrote a book about my plan, The Three Rules to Lose Weight and Keep It Off Forever, Second Edition. Buy a million copies here.

People who know me now say I have superb willpower. I don’t believe it—I believe my willpower is poor. My wife has willpower. She can eat a single cookie or a bite of someone’s pecan pie. Not me. I would eat the row of Oreos or the can of Pringles if I had even one. My rule now is to have zero. The secret to willpower is to avoid situations when you have to practice self-control. Plan ahead to minimize the work required not to indulge in your dietary habits. This article in Science News illustrates the difference between willpower and self-control. Studies agree that there is a big difference between the self-control of planning ahead and the willpower needed at the moment.

Planning ahead is not having a box of Oreos or a can of Pringles in the house. Willpower is having the can, opening it, and eating just one. James Clear, in Atomic Habits, talks about some of the methods of planning ahead to establish healthy habits. I was fortunate enough to learn some on my own. The secret to willpower is to plan ahead as much as possible.

Junk food, or bad carbs, as I call it in my book, has always been addictive to me. I never eat it. I haven’t had bread or snacks with carbs in at least five years. I prepare several blocks to avoid eating them. I never keep junk food in the house. Never. So, when I am in my house and open the pantry, I don’t need any willpower. There is nothing in there that is off of my diet plan. In the refrigerator, there is no junk food. I open it and can only find healthy food, say an apple or some nuts (nuts are better in the fridge). There is no leftover pizza in the refrigerator.

When I go to the store, I shop with a list and never stray. If it’s not on the list, I don’t buy it. The list is the intermediary. It requires less willpower in the store when I have my unbreakable list. I won’t buy Cap’n Crunch cereal at Costco, even if it’s on sale. It is not on the list. By the way, I don’t drink either. In Minnesota, you can’t buy alcohol in the grocery store. I never go into liquor stores unless shopping for a gift. Same thing.

The samples at Costco are a challenge. Look around. About 75% of people in the store are chewing. The ends of the aisles are congested with people getting samples. What, they never tried Oreos before? Make an ironclad rule to never, ever, ever have a sample. You can’t go to Costco without seeing samples. So, you need an absolute rule to never eat a sample. That does take more willpower than avoiding Costco, but it’s easier to follow an ironclad rule than to decide at each aisle whether to have a sample or not.

At restaurants, if you want to avoid eating off your diet plan, always look at the menu before you go. I know what I am ordering before I go in. If there is nothing on the menu on my diet, I don’t go to that restaurant. You can always find a restaurant your friends like that accommodates your diet. When I go on vacation, I usually stay at a rental house. Then, we can make healthy meals, even on vacation. I have had patients who blame weight gain on the cruise they were just on. What did they expect? No one can spend seven days on a boat, surrounded by junk food, and never eat junk food. It’s like a person with an alcohol use disorder (the preferred term) hanging out at a bar every night. If you don’t want to eat junk food, don’t go on a cruise.

The secret to willpower is to plan ahead. Set up as many blocks to your habit ahead of time. Don’t keep junk food in the house. Don’t buy it. Always have a plan. Do not put yourself in situations where you will need willpower. When you must be in a situation that tests your willpower, plan ahead by making ironclad rules.