Default to Yes

Default to yes for things that you want to accomplish

This is another of the tricks to help you accomplish something meaningful. I primarily use it when I want to improve in some way. It sounds very simple, and it is easier said than done, but it’s much more effective than “winging it.” As I say often, you must act with intent. It is up to each of us to decide what is important. What about ourselves do we want to improve?

It is tempting to choose something very simple and vague. I don’t want you to say, “I want to eat better.” Anyone can eat better without putting in any effort. If you eat two large McDonald’s fries a day, you can eat better by throwing two fries into the garbage before you sit down. That’s an improvement, but not much of one. You can do better than that. You can say, “I won’t eat fast food or bad carbs.” For this tool, be as precise as possible. Instead of, “I want to exercise more,” say, ” I will work out hard every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.”

So, what does it mean to default to “yes?” If you want to work out those days, then on Sunday morning, you say to yourself, “Should I work out today?” The answer is always yes, unless there is a compelling reason to override it. It is ridiculous to evade the default to Yes by saying, “I don’t want to,” or that you need to meet someone for drinks. Don’t do it. However, if there is a compelling, urgent reason not to work out that day, of course, override the default, but think through it very carefully. As I say in my other book, cheating on a diet or exercise routine is really cheating yourself.

My wife’s goal is to exercise every day she’s not working. She was off yesterday, and we had plans for the day. She asked, “Should I run before we go?” I immediately answered, “Yes.” That is the trick. No wiggle room. She could have said that she’d run at the end of the day. But something could have come up. She could have been tired, had a drink, whatever. She defaulted to yes and ran the best she had in a long time. With this tool, you won’t be perfect, but if your default is to say yes, you will do well.

I no longer need to think about this tool to get myself to exercise, because the habit of nearly daily exercise is so ingrained in my life. I have recently been using it for social events with loved ones. I am by nature a homebody. I don’t like parties or crowds. I like my routine and generally don’t want to vary from it. But when my wife or son asks me to do something (as long as it doesn’t involve strenuous work outside), I want to do it. Unless I have something planned that I can’t miss, which is uncommon now that I’m retired, I default to yes and do it.

Once a habit is ingrained, as I said, you won’t need to pay attention to this trick. An example that comes to mind is wearing a seatbelt. You definitely should default to putting on your seatbelt when you get in the car. In a few weeks, you don’t even think about it. You always wear a seatbelt. If you aren’t strict, defaulting to yes, or opting in, as some people call it, you will debate yourself. “I’m just driving to the corner, or the roads are empty, so I don’t need to wear it.” If your goal is always to wear a seatbelt, wear it every time, and soon, it’s a habit.

That is what you do with every important goal. Get out of bed, exercise certain days of the week, don’t eat bad carbs, read something worthwhile every day—whatever is meaningful to you.