What do I mean by Thanksgiving perspective? As everyone knows, Thanksgiving is a day when we show gratitude and thanks for what we have, especially family and friends, though it was originally a religious holiday.

However, even on Thanksgiving Day, we sometimes spend much of our time feeling rushed and stressed. For several days leading up to Thanksgiving, I often see people complaining and worrying about all they have to do for the big party. I admit that I have sometimes been one of the complainers. I’ve gone to Costco twice this week and my beloved Lunds and Byerlys grocery store three times. At both stores, people were stressed and upset. A man in front of me at the Costco liquor store complained about how long the lines were at Costco. He had a cart full of food and was buying several bottles of wine, yet he couldn’t wait a few minutes longer than usual to buy them without complaining.

I overheard several other people complaining about the cost of food. Yes, I know that we have had an increase in some food prices. The cost of beef, coffee, soda, and other items has gone up dramatically in the last year or two. But Costco had a fresh turkey for $1.09. I just checked online, and Target has fresh turkeys for $0.79 a pound. A spiral ham is $1.49, and green beans are about $3 a pound. And if you spend $50, you get ten dollars back. You could feed ten people for under fifty dollars. I don’t think the cost of food was something worth complaining about. Yes, the price of a standing rib roast was over a hundred dollars, so we’re having turkey.

Rather than complaining about the hassles around the holiday dinner, we should be thankful that we live in this country, where we have easy access to food. In fact, few Americans need to worry about finding food. One look around will tell you that the majority of people have more food than they need.

In America, we have much to be thankful for. In addition to access to food, we have clean water, shelter, cars, television, streaming services, mobile phones, computers, and many other things our grandparents didn’t even dream of.

More important than anything I’ve mentioned is that we should be thankful for being alive.

Being born was not your only good fortune. You had to survive until today. We all know how many times our lives could have ended before now. And it was much worse a hundred years ago. In 1925, our life expectancy was about 58, and it was even lower in 1900. Now, we consider someone young when they die at 70. That’s in the United States. In several countries in Africa, the life expectancy is under 60.

It took extremely good fortune for any of us to be alive right now. My parents had to get together at the perfect time for me to be born. The same had to happen with their parents, their parents’ parents, and so on for millions, literally millions of generations. Had any of my ancestors died without children, I wouldn’t be here at all, and no one would have known the difference. The same is true for everyone in the world today.

One of the things that bothered me in my practice was when a patient in their 80s or even 90s complained about getting old. Really? There are only two things that can happen to a person: get old or die young. Which would you prefer? Yet, many people don’t do much to try to live into old age. Read about my book, The Six Rules for a Longer, Healthier Life, if you want to increase your chances. Just a few days ago, I complained about pain in my arthritic left thumb while I was playing piano. How silly. First, I should be thankful I have a piano. More importantly, I should be thankful I have lived long enough to develop age-related arthritis. That is one of countless things I’ve complained about that I shouldn’t have. Enough complaining.

Now, the most important thing.

If you have a single person in your life whom you love, be thankful. I am fortunate to have several such people. How my wife puts up with me is beyond my comprehension. Yet, as much as I love them and am thankful to have them, I have not always shown my gratitude. I have sometimes been short-tempered and have complained when they’ve done something that wasn’t ideal for me.

That is what I mean by Thanksgiving Perspective, showing your gratitude for what you have, especially your loved ones, on Thanksgiving and every day. Try to be thankful for all the good things, and accept that we will have things that don’t seem good when they are happening. In retrospect, what bothers us in the moment is usually not a big deal. (Keep a copy of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff on your desk.)

I hereby make a Thanksgiving resolution.

I will work as hard as I can to keep the Thanksgiving Perspective, showing my gratitude for everything good in my life, and avoiding complaining about anything that is not perfect. Please consider joining me in a resolution to keep the Thanksgiving Perspective.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff is the best book on perspective and stress.

Those who know me may think I am the last person who should write a blog post on perspective and stress. I am known to obsess on the price of coffee at McDonald’s vs. Starbucks. (I highly recommend McDonald’s. If you use the app, any size coffee is usually $0.99, and I think it’s better than Starbucks.) My nephew says if you don’t use the app when you’re at McDonald’s, “you’re an idiot.” He likes to yell it as if it were the worst crime a person could commit. I wouldn’t go as far as he does, but $0.79 off every cup of coffee is pretty good. I don’t buy junk food at McDonald’s, but the app shows they have tremendous deals on those items.

Back to the best book on perspective and stress. I have tried many things over the years to relax and have a better perspective. Stoicism, as presented by Ryan Holiday, especially in The Obstacle Is the Way, has helped me more than anything, and I mention Holiday in my books. (Read about my books here.) However, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson, is a very easy read and covers many concepts of stoicism. I’ve read it at least seven times and talk about it in The Three Rules to Lose Weight. If you have one book on perspective and stress, I hope it is Don’t Sweat. If you have room for a second book, get The Obstacle is the Way. These books may change your life.

Don’t Sweat has 100 lessons, each being a page or two. The lessons are simple, and not every one will apply to your life or situation, though most will. Don’t let the subtitle, “And It’s All Small Stuff,” bother you. Certainly, there could be something truly catastrophic in your life. If that is the case, this book may help you, but nothing will adequately salve the pain you’re experiencing. Thankfully, the stuff in most of our lives is small. Thirty years in medicine taught me that almost everyone has the same issues—finance, family, job, a boss, a significant other, kids’ behavior, etc.

Each lesson in the book is short and simple to understand. The first lesson is the title. We too often turn a small event into a big deal. Carlson uses the example of a driver cutting you off in traffic. It can be scary, but if no accident occurred, there is no benefit to getting worked up, retelling the story to everyone you know, and being in a foul mood the rest of the day. It’s a conscious decision to keep rehashing the story in your head and telling it to others. You are granting the other driver magical powers to ruin your day. The second lesson, which is the one I mention in The Three Rules to Lose Weight and Keep It Off Forever, is “Make Peace With Imperfection.” None of us is perfect. None of our homes or cars is perfect. Learn to live with it. Several months ago, we found a narrow crack in the ceiling. I obsessed on it, letting my mind “snowball,” which is a concept in Don’t Sweat. I imagined scenarios where we would lose tens of thousands of dollars. Maybe the ceiling would fall apart, ruining the house. As you can guess, I couldn’t even find the crack a short time later. If I had accepted the ceiling’s imperfection immediately, I would have had far less anxiety over the next several weeks.

“Will This Matter in a Year” has helped me repeatedly. I was in Iowa with my wife. It was 4:30 a.m., and I was in the hotel’s cafe. The coffee was too hot, so I had the lid off. I had the book open to that chapter when I knocked the coffee over, spilling a metric ton of it onto the open laptop. I felt all kinds of stress and was ready to scream. I saw the chapter’s title, and in a few minutes, I was relaxed.

Most of the lessons are helpful. I strongly recommend you get the book and read it, unless you already have no stress and an ideal perspective. Get the hardcover so it will last forever. I read it at least once a year, one short chapter daily. I’ve never met anyone who read it and didn’t learn something valuable.

Richard Carlson died young from a pulmonary embolism while on an airplane, proving conclusively that the length of one’s life is not the most important thing about them. His wife, Kristine, has written several books and manages a website, https://dontsweat.com. I haven’t read any of her books because they are geared more to women, but I would be shocked if they are not helpful.